Pretty is as pretty does

In other news...

In case anyone cares, Joey Buttafuoco got out of jail on Saturday. CNN reports that his debt to society (for whatever he did) has been paid. No word yet on whether his debt to American culture has been paid...But it's fun that people are talking about that scandal again.

Dig the pic. Hee hee.

Hey Habitatters

I had a post-Habitat giddy  moment just now. Just so you know, I do check habitat.org every now and then just to see what you people are up to (somehow my Habitat fundraising appeals have not followed me to my new address)...Yeah, so the Comma Nazi is still watching you.

I noticed the Jimmy Carter Work Project announcement went up a few weeks ago, and when I finally got around to reading the whole thing today...I almost fainted from the realization that I'm not going to be involved in JCWP hullabaloo this year.

What? WHAT?! What in the world am I going to do for major frustration between the months of September and November (I'm estimating)? Who will send me partially completed blog entries to rewrite? In what situation will I be called upon to write captions for photos of dirt piles? What'll I do at 5:05 on a Friday afternoon when a celebrity has walked onto the build site and it's not my responsibility to fashion an article about it out of random quotes and spurious witness reports?

What will I do? Probably call the rest of you up and giggle into the phone and then hang up. It'll be the margaritas talking.

I do have one non-facetious comment, though. That quote at the bottom:

“Today, the median income of renter households in Los Angeles is $34,456, while the median price for a home is $535,000."

Dang. DANG. Note to self: Never move to Los Angeles. 

I think Pandora is messing with me

I have Pandora set on Luscious Jackson, and it just gave me a song from the Baywatch soundtrack, performed by one David Hasselhoff. Say it with me...WTF?

Silly Bin Laden

Don't you watch CNN down there in your little cave? We fear Cheney more than any terrorist.

"Grrr..."

 

Those Chick-fil-A bitches, man...

OK, so many of you have heard about the trouble I'm having now that I have a Chick-fil-A on my street. Hell, just having one  in my town is enough to constitute a problem. But anyway. My recent swearing off of fast food in any form but the Chick-Fil-A spicy chicken wrap has been going very well. I didn't think to check  the nutrition info for it, assuming that it was low-cal and lowfat. But I just checked, and learned that the wrap has 410 calories (without dressing) and 12g of fat. Not terrible, actually. 410 calories is well within my allowance for a meal, provided I don't go crazy with snacks.

All this time I'd been thinking I was saving calories and fat by NOT getting what I REALLY want, which is the regular fried-ass chicken sandwich. I figured that ol' boy had at least as much fat/calories as a Whopper. Wrong! It has...wait for it...410 calories and 16g of fat. Only 40 extra calories come from fat, and it actually has less sodium. 

I'm sorry. That can't be right. It's frickin' fried, man, and the stupid wrap is grilled.

Incidentally, a regular cheeseburger from Burger King has 330 calories, 16g of fat, and fricking HALF the sodium of the Chick-fil-A stuff. I'll tell you what, I do not need this kind of shit in my life right now.

Rahr.

Those of you who "never eat fast food. Period." are probably gagging right now. But you know what? Relax. When I get to heaven and what's-his-name asks me what I did to deserve entry, I'm not going to say "I never ate fast food, that's for sure!" Cause he'll probably send me to the part of heaven that doesn't have a Chick-fil-A. You know what I'm saying?

Moral of the story: Go to Chick-fil-A less often, and get what you actually want. You'll be happier.

I just had a cute-gasm

I'm gonna knit me one-a these...

Kitties in sweaters...kitties in sweaters...CuteOverload is rotting my brain...

Dumbfuck quote of the week, and Shakespeare's birthday

Students in Ashburn, Georgia, (a hellhole not far from the hellhole I recently escaped) are enjoying their town's first-ever integrated prom this year...1968, I guess. I had to read that headline twice, seriously. One of the town's morons is quoted as saying of her own prom in past years,

"There was not anybody that I can remember that was black," she said. "The white people have theirs, and the black people have theirs. It's nothing racial at all."

No, there's nothing racial about white people doing one thing and black people having to do a whole other thing.

I can't believe I used to live around there. Seriously. Read it.

Oh, and it's Shakespeare's birthday (and death day). Word.

Watch out for this one

She'll barf in your bed.
 

How did the English department not lay the smack down?!

Well, until another topic appears, I'm going to just keep writing about the one that keeps hitting me in the face: you-know-what-pedia. Today's angle came courtesy of my mailman.

I was rifling through some old mail over the weekend and found a notice about an "authors series" last week at Converse, where I went to college. Frickin' Wikipedia founder Dumbface McDumbass apparently spoke-- about what, I shudder to think. I mean, all the professors must have wanted to mob and dismember him because all their students are citing his stupid website in their papers. I hope at least one of them went and took him to task.

TV encourages mob-mentality stupidity

Ugh! Speaking of Wikipedia! My commitment to my cause has been reaffirmed!! The other night on The Office, one of the characters mentioned his love of Wikipedia, and a bunch of people logged on to take advantage of its wisdom and add their own "knowledge" to it. It was satire, people. Satire. It did not mean you should all run out and use Wikipedia. It did not mean you are qualified to make your own intellectual contribution to anything ever. In fact, it meant the opposite. That's the essence of satire, and you're all retarded.

Something weird is happening, people. Satire has gone from being a clever way to make fun of the more inane aspects of our culture to being an actual danger. Americans are officially so braindead from watching Deal or No Deal that they can't even tell when they're being made fun of.

Rahr! Why do people seem so extra stupid this week?