Boring, boring, boring

Something's been bothering me lately, people. And today I was pushed over the edge, justifying a blog entry. You know.

Yes, something's been bothering me all right. Something called Boring People. This town's lousy with them. Perfectly attractive, nice, social people with no interests and nothing whatever to say about anything, ever. Is it just me, trying too hard to be interesting, or is vanilla now everybody's  favorite color? No wonder the rest of the world hates us. We're not arrogant. We're not gluttons. We're just boring.

Today at lunch one of the coworkergirls was bemoaning her lack of Knowing People Outside the Office. She moved here a year ago, roughly six months before I did, and I guess she's getting sick of hanging out with our coworkers (shocker). She wanted us to give her some ideas for how to meet people. So we asked her a series of questions, the transcript of which appears below:

"Do you go/want to go to church?"

"No."

"Do you play/want to play a sport?"

"No."

"Are you interested in taking art classes?"

"No."

"Joining a book club?"

"Ugh, no."

"Learning to dance? Swing, ballroom, even hip hop?"

"Those all sound horrible."

"Volunteering?"

"Anh."

"Okay, how about hiking or kayaking?"

"God, no."

Other things were suggested, like leading a Girl Scout troop or auditioning for a play, but each was rejected with a more extreme eye roll than the last. I started to wonder. What does this person DO in her spare time, and why does she expect any reasonable human to do it with her? We kind of gave up after about 15 minutes and started suggesting places where she could meet men. The wine bar, the Fresh Market, the gym...which she dismissed en masse, saying, "Lord, I wouldn't be caught dead in any of those places." When told that pretty boys often frequent places like that, she answered that she didn't like pretty boys. She likes "sporty boys, and a little fluffy."

"What?"

"Fluffy. You know."

"Metrosexual?"

"Ugh, hell no."

I never figured out what she meant by that. We were all confused, and a little disturbed by her complete lack of interest in anything whatsoever and her judgmental dismissal of everything that might jump start her social life. As we were paying our bills, one of the guys who works here offered to set her up with one of his guy friends (God help him) this Saturday night. She answered that she was going to  throw a girls' night for some of the other coworkergirls that night. So far I have not been invited, and I figure if I sit at my desk very quietly tomorrow it will stay that way.

Comments

[Jen]

Ok Em, just shoot that girl and put her out of her misery!

[Emily]

Update...I've been invited to the girls' night...I guess the sitting quietly plan backfired. It was nice of her to ask, of course. Now instead of feeling like a 78% bitch I feel like 79%.