Pretty is as pretty does

My fake boyfriend, isn't he something?

I have had this crush on the Hot Zone guy for a while now, so I think it's warranted a posting. I like that there is someone intelligent out there willing to go to the front lines of the world's various wars and report about what life is like for the people in the little anonymous villages there. I highly recommend the article "Child Bride." You think a good man is hard for you to find?

I think it's easy to say you're against war because of what it does to the innocent people whose homes get burned and whose children get murdered, but it's a whole other thing to go out there and say, "THIS is what is happening." And to do that without preaching or manipulating people's emotions like "certain folks" in our government are determined to do...

It's good to see a journalist using his abilities for something other than analyzing whether or not Jessica cheated on Nick with the Maroon 5 guy. So...

YES, KEVIN, I WILL MARRY YOU.

Stop asking already...

Bringing someone to the wedding

The following is a transcript of yet another bizarre conversation had with my mother. Said conversation concerns my brother's wedding this summer.

Mom: I asked Deb if it was ok if you brought somebody to the wedding, and she said it was.

Me: Oh, good!

Mom: And by the way, I'm getting a new bed for your room in time for the wedding. What do you think, a queen?

Me: Oh, so me and my date are gonna sleep in it?

Mom: Huh?

Me: My date. He has to have somewhere to sleep.

Mom: What are you talking about?

Me: My date, mom. As in, the person I might bring to the wedding.

~~~~Awkward silence~~~~

Me: It's possible.

Mom: I didn't say it wasn't possible. What?

Me: Listen, I'm a human being, I once in a blue moon go out on a date.

Mom: This is the first *I've* heard of it.

Oh, for Pete's sake. My mother thinks I'm asexual. She is utterly confused now--more so since I told her I was going to get a hotel room while I'm in town. Never mind that it has nothing whatsoever to do with bringing a date--who knows if I'll even do that. It's fun being in my family.

In other news...

I had a really strange dream last night.

Scene 1--A bunch of guys are lying in a row on the floor at the foot of a bed watching TV. Suddenly a burst of air comes out of the TV and blows their pants and underwear off. They all go "Whoooooooooa!" and laugh hysterically. Scene 2--Same guys, same scene, only they are naked and all but two of them are lying on their stomachs with their heads under the bed. More guys are hanging off the foot of the bed smacking their butts. Two chubby guys are under a blanket kind of wiggling around. I ask what's going on. Some voice "off camera" asks, "What, you don't like to see fatties humpin'?"

What do you think THAT means, other than that I forgot to take my meds yesterday?

Poops, purses and sweating whores

Today did not get off to an auspicious start. Minnie the Schnauzer refused to do #2 in the backyard--she wanted to go to the park, but Mama didn't have time for a long walk before work. How mired in our routine we are after just 6 days. I did walk her down the little side street in hopes that one of the yards there would prove acceptable, but all we found was a little chubby redhaired boy about 3-4 years old, about to hop in the car and go to preschool. He stuck his little babydoll hand out for Minnie to lick, and when she did he dissolved into giggles and said, "She wants me!"

Just a little cute to get your day off rightlike.

And, oh, good news on the retail circuit. How pleasant to walk into Goody's on a whim and come out with a pair of brown pinstriped pants and a wonderful white purse big enough to hold all my crap? Extremely pleasant. I had been looking for a bag like that--I haven't shaken off my city-livin' need to haul all my accoutrements and paraphernalia with me to work, even though I live a half a mile away and go home for lunch every day.

It's strangely warm and muggy today--even for SW Georgia. I'm sweating like a whore in church.