Slattern

You matter, but only if you're old enough to vote

On Monday, Andrew von Eschenbach, acting commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), announced that the FDA would reconsider the application to allow emergency contraception to be available over-the-counter—but only to women 18 years and older.

Tell the FDA that you want immediate approval of EC over the counter, with no further delays.

Our effed up language

Ever wondered why you hate it when sleazy guys in bars refer to you and your girlfriends as "ladies"? Maybe this has something to do with it.

Originally "lady" came from an Old English word that meant literally "one who kneads bread," from hlaf, meaning "bread." As in, the person in the house who has authority over such things as bread kneading. It connoted an "important" position in the household.

Incidentally, "lord" has the same general derivation. It comes from, hlafweard, literally "one who guards the loaves." As in, "Lady, get in that kitchen and fix me a sandwich."

Ain't that sweet? I knew there was a link between my mother constantly telling me, "That's not ladylike!" and the fact that I don't cook.

Miss Universe is crowned, faints over her part in creepy, outdated, objectifying pageant

Case ya weren't glued to the TV for this one, a very giggly Miss Puerto Rico was crowned Miss Universe the other night and promptly fainted under the sheer excitement of it all. I didn't catch the pageant (I was busy sorting socks), but strangely I did catch Inside Edition's hard-hitting coverage of this bombshell of a news item. (I tell myself I watch it for "the material", but sometimes it's just, you know, on.)

This was just days after she and her (slightly uglier) fellow contestants creepily escorted pageant owner Donald Trump onstage on David Letterman. You've got to love ol' Trumpy. I do give him props for at least admitting that the pageant isn't a scholarship pageant but is instead just about "beautiful women." But whatever sliver of respect that scraped up for him evaporated when he said that rich people like him "have to" give away a bunch of money to charity. Yeah, dude, there's a law. We wouldn't want you to do anything out of the, you know, kindness of your heart.

Vomit. People suck.

The stem cells of the world collectively rejoice!

Hooray! We're saved! Oh, right--we're just globs of non-sentient cells.

Sigh. Is America becoming a more and more ridiculous place to live?

You want it, I want it, 60% of American people want it, but George W. Douchebag is in charge of this mo fo, so I guess that cure for Alzheimer's and cancer will have to wait. Fuck Granny and her deteriorating mental capacity!

Now who wants to go bomb some more countries?!

Working Women's Survey

Girls,  here's your chance to tell the rich, white, straight men who run the country what's important to you. Take a sec and fill out the Working Women's Survey right this very minute!

Responses will be given to every U.S. representative and senator as well as state and local officials around the country on Labor Day.

The Ask a Working Woman survey is sponsored by the AFL-CIO, the largest organization of working women in America, and Working America, a community affiliate of the AFL-CIO.

The No Shit Report

Apparently the surgeon general thinks secondhand smoke might be dangerous. Well, shit, I'm glad somebody finally said something.

The Lung Association's "Women and Cigarettes" fact sheet is an interesting read. For example, your risk of cervical cancer goes up with smoking or living in a smoke-filled environment. Which is something to think about, since if the Jesus Freaks had their secret druthers, we hellbound whores wouldn't have access to a vaccine for something else that causes it.

The Real Hot 100

"Hey Jim Bob, did you catch Eva Longoria shaking her booty on the Alma Awards?"

"Why do you think I watched them, Billy Ray? That's a real woman right there. A reeeeeeal woman."

Tired of stupid people getting praised for their shiny hair and their ass-shaking skills? Well, check these broads out.

How Wife Swap will rot your brain

I don't know, the first time I watched it I thought it was going to be something kinky. No, that's a lie. I just don't have cable, so there was nothing else on. But check this shit out.

The lady on Wife Swap the other night was a real piece of work. Normally I wouldn’t bother to comment on such a moronic show, but this time it drew my attention to a little literary gem called Fascinating Womanhood. It’s so out there that I don’t think it’s worth getting too serious about, but it does prove what Gloria Steinem said: A woman is either “a feminist or a masochist.” Because apparently there are some gals out there who think it’s still 1963—and they aren’t exactly grandmothers, either.

The book is based on the premise that a woman’s place is in the home, the hubby’s the boss, your purpose is to serve him, blah blah blah. The author offers plenty of quotable advice on how to serve your man and remember your place. Scarily, the lady on Wife Swap is obsessed with it--and therefore has made herself completely dependent on and subservient to her husband, to the point that Donna Reed would have to kick her in the crotch.

She’s a 30-something stay-at-home-mom (nothing wrong with that in itself) who manicures her husband’s nails, cooks gourmet meals every night for his sorry ass, and devotes every tiny little bit of herself to keeping a tidy home and catering to his needs. She doesn’t even have a car for her own use and thus hardly ever leaves the house. She says this was always her life goal, and that even as a child she wanted to grow up to be June Cleaver.

The hoot of the whole thing is that they swapped her with a bad-assed lady cop who’s shacking up with her fiancee. Priceless!

I literally put my foot through the TV in the scene where this not so fascinating homemaker told her new husband, who liked to serve his fiancee breakfast in bed on the weekends because she works 18-hour days, that no husband should ever do such a thing for his wife.

And I lost my shit when the lady cop flipped the caveman husband over her shoulder and cuffed his ass.

I love TV.

By the way, the cunt that wrote the book has a website (imagine: women, making use of the Internet? Surely not!). Here's a sweet little quote from the FAQ section, about women in the workplace:

It has been my experience that when a woman lifts, the man tends to "set his bucket down." ... Both men and women have contributed to this dreadful situation in our society where we find women "locked into their jobs in the working world."

Let's hear it for sweeping generalizations and sexist nonsense!!

Ya'll be sure to go drop Crazy a line and thank her for setting certain brainless females up to be totally destitute and helpless when their men die or leave them.

Here's another blog's comment on the thing--don't miss the paragraph about how you should fast to better understand your alcoholic asshole husband. Say it with me. WTF?

Hot Smart Girl of the Week

posted by Emily

                        
Dang, she fine...

New little thing we're doing here. In homage to the Real Hot 100 list, Every week we're choosing a gal who exemplifies Awesome Girlness and are prostrating ourselves before Her Fineness. Just to remind the world that there are many, many ways a woman can be awesome, and she doesn't have to be one of those anorexic supermodels with their little tiny dogs to get a little lovin'. Hot is an abstraction, having nothing inherently to do with shiny hair or body fat index, though sexy and smart are by no means mutually exclusive.

As you can see from our inaugural HSG! Sarah is a self-proclaimed "full-contact academic" from Philadelphia, and she will kick. Your. Ass. Here are a few of her girltastic qualities:

• She's got a PhD in Brain & Cognitive Science. I don't know, maybe the smartest person ever?
• The girl can salsa and lindy hop your FACE off.
• She's about nine feet tall, and most of it's legs.
• She digs cheesecake, coxcombs, ethiopian food, fops, hot geeks, kittens, knitting, kittens who knit, shiny things, symphonies, wine and word games. To name a few.
• She's kind to animals, loyal to her friends, and always responds promptly to your e-mails.
• I imagine she's one of those women who, if she got kidnapped by hillbillies and left for dead in the woods, could MacGyver together some kind of primitive shelter, compass, and conch phone and find her way back to civilization on her own.

I  mean, she's just a Hot. Smart. Girl. Dig her.

Know a Hot Smart Girl? Think she deserves to be honored? Tell us about her.

From the Kimfiles

"Right now I'm reading She: Understanding Feminine Psychology. It's good. It's all about the Aphrodite and Psyche in us women. The two goddesses are battling it out in our hearts and heads, see. That's why we often feel like we're going crazy. It's because we are. We're going crazy."

Interesting, though, that the book is written by a man...