Slattern

Radio wave technology helps whores keep their legs closed

posted by Emily

Remember on Sex and the City when Charlotte told the other girls that you could reclaim your virginity by abstaining for a year? (Would that be voluntary or involuntary abstention, I wondered...)? Ultimately it is a silly idea: Once you've done that, you've, you know, done it. But I like the premise--that you can erase your past mistakes and past boyfriends and simply start over with a new attitude about intimacy. For those of us living in the real world, that's probably as far as it goes.

But these fun folks at the Society for the Recapture of Virginity are pushing it a step further, claiming that you can literally go back to your pre-sex self--assuming a sane person would want to do such a thing. So much for rites of passage and whatnot. They've even got this deal--and I haven't figured out if they're jerking my chain on this one--where you strap this thing called (wait for it) the Virginator to your wrist while you sleep:

"A miracle of modern science, the Virginator is a fully operational biorhythm restructure band. Based on the information you give to the VRS 3000, a microchip is custom encoded with an unique algorithm. This microchip is then attached to a wristband, which you wear at night while you sleep. During the night, the microchip emits harmless radio waves which adjust and correct your virgin biorhythms. While you dream, your virginity will be restored. You will not feel a thing, but you will wake up a virgin!"

OK, I remember my "virgin biorhythms."  They made me do crazy things like join the Young Republicans club in college. 

But if you're getting a jump on your Christmas shopping, the Virginator a must-have for this year's self-loathing tech junkie who doesn't want to, um, feel a thing. I think they sell them at Best Buy.

Buddha on the Brain

posted by Emily

I just got around to reading the February issue of Wired. It features an article called "Buddha on the Brain: The hot new frontier of neuroscience: meditation!" It is a fabulous read if you're interested in the discussion of religion vs. science and whether the two exclude each other.

Researchers at the University of Wisconsin stuck electrodes on some Buddhist monks and told them to meditate on compassion. They discovered that the monks' brain functions altered, particularly in the area of the brain that governs positive emotions. "Perhaps these signals indicated that the meditators attained an intensely compassionate state of mind. If so, then maybe compassion could be exercised like a muscle; with the right training, people could bulk up their empathy." Not to mention giving people the means to self-help afflictions like depression.

The kicker is that the Dalai Lama is so freakin' on board with the study.

The March issue is no doubt full of similarly thought-provoking material. I'll let you know in April.